Cat Poop Coffee Signals The End Of Days

Is Kopi Luwak coffee for real????

Categorized under “Please don’t tell me how this started,” Kopi Luwak is among the more disturbing coffee trends out there (and there’s plenty of competition). Now, if paying up to $600 per pound for coffee beans roasted after being extracted from the poop of an admittedly adorable animal is an automatic “yes” for you, there are probably other issues you should work on first, but if it makes you take a step back, join the club. 

Yet, people vow that drinking it is a better experience than falling in love or being crowned king of Spain, likely because no one wants to admit that the poop coffee they paid through the nose for tastes a lot like coffee that has yet to be pooped.

Even worse is where this could head if it really takes off. If small animals handle the needs of weirdo coffee aficionados, when it reaches the mainstream market and production has to increase, will we see elephant poop coffee? Whale poop coffee (easily rinsed)? Could this be a solution for underemployment?

So, we’re going to stick to coffee that has yet to flow through an animal’s digestive tract and try to forget this is even happening, in part to avoid shuddering every time we see anyone take a sip from their mug. 

And for you kopi luwak fanatics out there, if it’s all about the smooth taste, maybe try a little cream? And if you’re drinking it for the earthy flavor notes, consider where those are coming from…